Category: That Ain’t No Deal Book

From the book “That Ain’t No Deal!” by Charlie Parkerson:

Can you control the energy level in your business or organization? Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just dial up the passion and enthusiasm? Well, guess what? You can. Okay, maybe you don’t have direct control over every other person on your team, but you do have total control over yourself. You can decide how much energy you bring with you to work every single day.

You’ll find that energy, like electricity, flows. It doesn’t stand still. It starts a chain reaction. Positive or negative, your attitude is contagious; it will spread to those around you. Show up in the morning pumped up and brimming with positive energy, and everyone you come in contact with will be affected. Attitude changes everything.

How do you bring energy? It’s not always obvious how best to go about turning up the passion and energy. First, you can’t fake it. Insincere enthusiasm is for televangelists. Be genuine. Tricks and manipulations are for losers.

Get excited. It’s okay to shout a little and to jump up and down. Passion has a hard time sitting still. Move! And do it quickly, too. Energized people run or dance or skip; they don’t stroll.

No complaining. I’m not big on rules, but you need to silence the complainers. Shut them down. You’re at war with negative energy, whether you realize it or not.

Get close. Others can’t see, hear or feel your passion quite as well at a distance. Keep your team close. Stay tight. Turn it up!

From the book “That Ain’t No Deal!” by Charlie Parkerson:

“Well done is better than well said.”
—Benjamin Franklin

Highly upward people are more likely to DO than to TALK about doing, but they don’t ignore their responsibility to speak up when the time is right. As we have seen in the other “ups,” everything you do shows others what you value and how you think.

Looking up speaks. It says, “I care about you. I am involved and engaged.”

Showing up speaks. It says, “I want to be here. This is the most important place I can be right now.”

Stepping up speaks. It says: “I want to make a difference. I care about the outcome. I am invested.”

Listening up speaks. It says, “I care about the people in my life. I want to understand them.”

You can’t show up late, stare at the floor, lurk in the background and then decide to speak up. “Hey, everybody! Follow me!”

You don’t get to do that, even if you sign the checks and your name is on the sign outside. The previous “ups” are the entrance fee, your ticket to speak. You may have the freedom of speech, but you gotta pay to be heard. You pay by looking up, showing up and stepping up.

Actions are not enough

While actions may speak louder than words, they do not replace them. Words are essential. They are like seeds. They are the carriers of ideas. Words are your tools to express your desires, to influence others and to change the world.

Words are very powerful. They can bring hope and they can inspire, but they can also tear down and destroy. You must learn to use your words wisely.

Is it better to be silent?

Silence is often a sign of wisdom. Consider these proverbs: “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.” “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”

When in doubt, keep your mouth shut. But don’t allow discretion to excuse timidity. Show restraint, not fear. Speaking up doesn’t mean being an obnoxious loud-mouth. You shouldn’t babble on like a fool, but you must be ready to speak when the time is right. Leaders aren’t afraid to break the silence.

Call it like you see it

Upward people aren’t bashful about speaking up when they see a problem. I have been famous for saying, “That ain’t no deal.” You have to realize that ignoring bad deals doesn’t help people, and it’s not honest. Saying nothing is like saying, “I approve. I see nothing wrong. Sounds good to me.” If you can’t honestly say that, then you have to speak up.

Others might not want to listen because it makes them uncomfortable or feel bad, but you should care for their long-term good more than you care about their temporary comfort and immediate self-esteem.

It’s important to remember that you can only “call it like you see it” after you have done the other “ups.” Your judgment will only be sound if you have first listened and understood the situation fully. Your opinion will only be valued if you have shown that you care deeply and are committed to helping others. Nobody enjoys a drive-by. It may seem courageous and bold, but it is the opposite. Criticizing on your way out the door is the act of a coward.

Ask questions

“Are there any questions?” If you pay attention, you’ll hear this a lot—at meetings, conferences, schoolrooms and factory tours.

Be ready. Have a question. Hey, you know it’s coming. You took the effort to show up, to listen up, to study up, and maybe even to step up. Don’t miss the opportunity to speak up when the floor is open to questions.

When someone’s speaking, you should be asking yourself the whole time, “What are they leaving out? What assumptions are they making that may not be accurate?” Be curious; don’t just passively take things exactly as they are.

Speak up! Too often, when someone asks, “Are there any questions?” they’re met by a bunch of blank stares and shrugging shoulders.

What? No questions? What’s wrong with you? I’m always full of questions, and you should be too if you want to be a highly upward leader. Not having questions is like saying you don’t really care. Not speaking up is like saying, “I have nothing to add. I don’t really offer any value here.”

Stupid questions

Have you ever heard someone say, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question?” That may be true, but we do hear things that can seem pretty stupid. Things like, “Are you sleeping?” or “What time does the 4:00 show start?” or “What’s Bob’s first name?” Sometimes stupid questions are really just careless questions, and sometimes they are actually really intelligent questions in disguise. Does the 4:00 show start on time or are there ten minutes of previews? What time do the doors close? Is his name really Bob or is it Robert?

I think it’s more accurate to say, “The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask.” Sometimes the things others take for granted are just plain wrong. The simplest observations can be profound.

Galileo wondered if the world might be round instead of flat. People thought he was crazy. Newton pondered why the apple fell from the tree instead of floating up in the air. What a crazy thing to ask!

You don’t have to be a brilliant scientist to ask penetrating questions. You just have to be observant and have the guts to speak up. It doesn’t matter how important you are. It doesn’t matter if you are officially the leader. Remember, it took the innocence of a child to question the obvious, “Why is the Emperor not wearing any clothes?”

Benefit others

Others benefit when you ask questions. It’s obvious to see. They’re standing there just numbly taking the world at face value. The tour guide in your group asks, “Are there any questions?” and they stare blankly. They blink. “Questions? Huh? What are we talking about? How could the world be any different than what you just said?”

These people need to be shaken awake. They need someone to speak up and ask something, anything, so that they can start to use their brains again. Their brains are good, when they use them. Good questions spark great conversations.

The most important reason to speak up

Why do you want to speak up? If all you wanna do is share your brilliant opinions with the world, take a number. It ain’t all about you.

The most important time to speak up is not when you’ll be popular or celebrated for it. “Oh, he’s so smart!” It’s not when you’ll get your way or somehow benefit or profit from influencing others. Speak up when others are in need, when the powerless suffer an injustice, when the marginalized and forgotten are without an advocate.

There is no greater way to use your freedom of speech than to speak up for others who cannot speak for themselves.

Build ’em up

When speaking up, watch what you say and how you say it. Don’t be abusive; don’t be a bully.

Compliment at least as much as you criticize. Don’t be stingy with your praise. And never miss a chance to say, “I love you.”

From the book “That Ain’t No Deal!” by Charlie Parkerson:

Simply showing up may be enough to squeak by, but you don’t want to do the minimum. You need to show up ready. As the Boy Scouts say, “Be prepared.”

It’s not easy to plan ahead, to prepare, to study. It’s not easy to concentrate, but anybody can do it.

In college sports, there are rules about how often teams can practice, but in real life there’s no penalty for preparing more than the competition does.

The thing I love about studying is it helps the dummy more than the genius, because smart people don’t think they need to study. With preparation, a hard worker of average intelligence can outperform an Einstein any day.

“I shoulda said…”

Have you ever left an argument only to realize an hour later what you should have said? On the other hand, some people appear to be “quick on their feet.” Their responses to the unexpected are so swift that observers marvel, “How’d they do that?”

I think the difference is due more to preparation than intelligence. Snappy answers come automatically to those who have invested time studying, carefully thinking about the subject. They know at a glance what it is they are looking at and what they think about it. They don’t have to think about it because they’ve already done the thinking.

If you’re gifted with a fast wit, if you pick up on things with ease, if you are good at playing catch-up, then you should be very careful. Don’t let your natural ability fool you into thinking you don’t have to study up. I have served on boards and committees for various volunteer organizations and associations. Once, I was on the board of directors for a national association. All of us on the board were owners of pretty large, successful businesses. We were all top performers, dynamic leaders, effective managers. We knew how to get things done.

Or, that’s how it should have been. After a few meetings, I began to wonder if some of my fellow board members could even organize a picnic. Before every meeting, the association staff would send us a large binder stuffed with an agenda and tons of reports. I’d show up at the meeting, with my binder under my arm, my head full of knowledge as I’d flip through my highlighted notes…but only a few of us had even bothered to read the reports! It drove me crazy, but then, I guess I drove them insane too.

Don’t be the person who shows up without a clue. Study Up instead, and you’ll run circles around all the other clueless people.

From the book, “That Ain’t No Deal!” by Charlie Parkerson:

You can only go where your eyes lead you, so look up!

All the time, I see people with their heads down. They’re looking at the floor, their feet, their iPhones. They’ve withdrawn from the world.

You’ve got to pick your head up! When you do, you’ll find your physical posture has a big impact on your mental posture.

Look people in the eye! This is so important. I never want to hire someone who won’t look me in the eye when I’m talking to them. What are they hiding? Pick your head up in interviews and meetings, during sales calls and family dinners.

Experts say non-verbal communication is more powerful than the actual words we say to each other. Shrugs, hand gestures, eye movements and smiles, how can you read any of ’em if you aren’t looking?

And what are you communicating to others when your head is down? “Leave me alone. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be involved.”

The phrase, “Things are looking up,” is synonymous with optimism for good reason. When you look up, it has a powerful effect. You suddenly begin to see opportunities. Mysteries are revealed. Connections are made.

It’s so easy to do. Anybody can look up, but if it doesn’t come naturally, you’ll need to practice at it. You need discipline.

Keep reminding yourself: “Look up!”

From the book, “That Ain’t No Deal!” by Charlie Parkerson:

Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda

How’s that for a catchy name? Charles Grigg launched a new soft drink by that name in 1929, just two weeks before Wall Street’s “Black Tuesday” crash sparked the Great Depression. Sure sounds like the drink was doomed to failure, doesn’t it?

But it’s where you go that matters, not where or how you start. And it’s never too late to turn a loser into a winner. Mr. Grigg changed the name of his drink to 7UP, and the rest is history.

Simple decisions can have big impacts.

Let’s get practical

Ready to get busy? Do you want to know where to start right this moment making decisions that will build your success? Here we go. I’ve got seven “ups” to share with you.

Whether you’re leading a company or a Sunday school class, here are some dirt-simple choices you can make today—right now—that are guaranteed to succeed. They aren’t difficult; you don’t need any special skills to implement these. You can get started right away.

But while these “seven habits of highly upward people” aren’t complicated or theoretical, they aren’t all that easy either. Just because anybody can do them doesn’t mean that many people do. That’s why they are so powerful.

And no matter how well you think you’re doing, you can always do better!

From the book, “That Ain’t No Deal!” by Charlie Parkerson

I’m blessed to have five [now six!] grandkids living next door, and I’ve gotten a kick out of teaching them how to do things—really important things—like how to ride a bike and how to play cards.

Maybe fun and games don’t strike you as important life skills, but I see ’em as a great way to learn how to deal with things outside of your control. What kid would choose to fall off their bike and scrape their knees? And nobody chooses to be dealt a losing hand. But bad things happen. The question is, “How do you respond?” The first step toward responsibility is learning we are able to choose how we respond, especially to the bad things we don’t want to face.

Sometimes it seems like children actually do fall down on purpose. They get scared or frustrated and just quit. They almost seem to throw themselves off their bikes. You can see adults do the same thing when they are in uncomfortable situations: at work, in their relationships, in struggling with addictions or dealing with change. Throwing yourself off your bike is a choice, but it’s a supremely childish choice.

Persevere! The suffering is worth the sacrifice. I can still see the amazing change that came over each grandchild’s countenance once they finally mastered their bike. They suddenly stood taller; their faces beamed. They had done it! They were independently mobile! They were now free to go make their way in the world!

Been dealt a losing hand? Play it out, man! You gotta play the cards you’ve been dealt. You don’t have to like it, but quit your bellyaching.

From the book, “That Ain’t No Deal!” by Charlie Parkerson:

I reckon there are two types of people: those who cry and complain about what they “have to do,” and those who simply roll up their sleeves and get busy doing what they “choose to do.”

I’ve got no patience for folks who complain about their job, their boss, their customers, the traffic on their morning commute…the list goes on and on. I just can’t listen to it.

Who put a gun to your head and made you do that job, work for that boss, live in that city or take crap from those customers? Whatever circumstance you find yourself in, it’s of your own choosing.

You say you hate your job? Well, who picked that job? You did. “But I didn’t realize I’d hate it when I took it.” So quit and find something you’ll love. “But I’m not qualified to do my dream job.” How is that your boss’s fault?

Change is hard, but it starts with a simple choice. Why don’t we change when we aren’t happy with the results we’re getting? Are we too scared or too lazy? Apathy and inaction are decisions to keep things just the way they are.

Don’t complain about it. By staying in that job you hate so much, what you’re really saying is, “I believe this job is better than any other possible alternative.”

Everything is a choice. It’s gotta be one of life’s toughest lessons. It can really hurt to own up to the fact we have chosen the lives we live.

It is painful to take away the scapegoats we love to abuse, because then that abuse is directed squarely at ourselves. Ouch!

From the book, “That Ain’t No Deal!”

Just as true quality is never a happy accident, neither is success. Good things happen for a reason. Sure, sometimes you’ll get lucky and come out smelling like a rose despite making bad decisions, but that’s like winning the lottery.
Success you don’t earn doesn’t last very long. It’s not sustainable. In my mind, success you can’t count on is no success at all.

So, if success is a choice, who in the world would ever choose failure? I don’t think most people are stupid, but I see people do stupid things every day. Nobody sets out to fail, and nobody would ever agonize in front of a signpost faced with a simple dilemma: “Do I choose the path to success or failure?”

The tricky thing is that success isn’t the result of one choice, but of a million choices. It takes wisdom and foresight to know which direction you’re heading in. It’s pretty hard to have the clarity to step back and read the signposts, but they’re there.

Too many people spend their whole lives walking down the wrong path only to realize, once they reach the end of the road, that they wasted their lives. And far too many people lose their nerve. Paralyzed with fear, they don’t have the stomach to lead their own life, much less to lead their business, family or organization. Have courage!

It takes guts to own up to the fact that success is ultimately your choice. Embrace the challenge, and you’ll find it incredibly liberating.